There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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