I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
