every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just had sex on a roof
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
