I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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