I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
