At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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