I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
