Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
