i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
