well you can't waste a boner
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
