i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
