FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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