Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
