I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
