as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
