I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
