The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
