I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
