i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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