see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
