i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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