i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
