Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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