Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
