Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
