After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
