arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
They took my balls.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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