any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
