she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
