just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
