I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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