Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
