she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The air was thick with penises
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just want nice things and good sex
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
