Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
