my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
