I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
