Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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