Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
