She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I didn't notice because vodka
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
