Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
