He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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