God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
