weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
