I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Your penis caused this!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
