I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My hand turned me down
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
