I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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