I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
two words...techno handjob
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
