i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
