in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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