Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
